A 60 Second Love Cartoon to Help You Improve Your Relationships!

3 Gifts for Your Valentine Today…& Forever

  • Wondering what to give for valentines?
  • Tired of the same old flowers & chocolates?
  • Wondering how to surprise the love of you life?

I often think of Valentines as a Hallmark day. Cards, chocolates and roses; the commercialization of love, romance and coupling. What if you gave your beloved a different gift today; a gift of difference?

Well, we have your different gift! Share this video with your lover and invite them on a date to talk about how you both dance with your differences. Tell them it is a date to celebrate your differences!

Love is an Action

Love can be the most ephemeral, intangible gift that we give. Some call love a verb. An action, not only a feeling. So how do you give the gift of love in action? One of the greatest ways is to acknowledge and make space for that which is different about your lover.

3 Gifts of Difference

The 3 ways you can give the gift of difference, that will keep giving, are:

  1. Value what is different about your partner. Receive their differences as gifts; gifts that invite you to take time to learn more, to be mindful, to tend to the relationship. Difference can at times slow us down. Slow us down to connect and reach out to each other and see what each of us is bringing. What a beautiful gift it is to receive a gift of connection! Connection is at the core of relationships. And our differences can be invitations to connect.
  2. Be mindful of how you label a difference whenever one emerges. Are you labeling it as a problem or as an example of how you are each unique individuals? How you frame differences can impact your relationship. Be present to how you devalue what the other does while valuing your own position. Instead of making judgments, choose to be a creator who explores differences to grow your relationship. Play with the labels.
  3. Make a point to celebrate your partner’s differences. Tell them how much their way of being in the world means to you. If you are practicing 1 & 2, then this flows genuinely.

Imagine This

Imagine you are the kind of person who is always ahead of schedule and your partner usually runs late. It is hard to imagine how running late is of value to one who runs ahead of schedule. But imagine if your partner is running late today and you say, “I love you even when you run late. It gives me the opportunity to sit back and take you in fully.”

Of course, you might say, “But that is not how I feel. It’s fake!” But think about it. What happens if you just gave him/her a hug for running late? Hard to do? Then its time to practice.

Live This

Step back emotionally and physically. Sit down and focus on your breath. From this position, take in your partner’s efforts to complete getting ready as you radiate gentle loving patience towards them. Make it a regular effort. Over time you will experience a sense of calmness and the value of your partner’s lateness will emerge. It teaches you how to be present and loving in the face of a storm: what better preparation can you have for when the forces of life send a gale your way?

Also note the little positives each time. What if the extra time at home has made you remember that phone charger, or maybe you remembered to turn down the thermostat? Things you would have forgotten had you left earlier.

Now give some thought to your own differences. Think of the times your partner has made space for your way of being in the world. In the moments that you make space for  each other’s differences you are mindfully creating kindness, connection and love.

Differences are not an excuse for abusive or harmful relationships. You cannot do this dance with differences unless there is mutual respect and a willingness to share and care to build the relationship. Playing with differences is only part of the story of creating the relationships we want.

Instead of thinking point/counter point; think: point/difference point=how to create together!

 

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If you are in abusive relationship get help. This article is not a substitute for any professional help that might be needed.

Animation by: Mark Greene

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  1. 60 Second Love Cartoon: How to Play with Differences in Your Relationship! — The Good Men Project - [...] Here’s a little cartoon about differences in relationships. We thought you might enjoy it on Valentines Day, but its ...

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