Stop Seeking

Are you seeking balance?

Are you seeking certainty?

Are you seeking control of the chaos in your daily life?


The solution does not lie in the seeking. In seeking the positive by banishing the negative, you grow your sense of wanting and not having enough. Because not all that is viewed as negative is negative.

If you are seeking control over chaos; seeking certainty in your life, struggling to find balance, but failing to find these things then you are probably not embracing. Change and growth lie in embracing that which you normally might be inclined to fight.

What Does It Mean to Embrace?

It is the action that looks or feels like we are leaning in. In regard to fear, Eleanor Roosevelt said

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face…

When you cease to reject uncertainty or fear and instead engage them, seek to see what is emerging from them, you are embracing  them. You can come to view uncertainty, chaos or fear as an ally; a generative source for growth; at which point the tension between what we are certain of and what we do not know feels like a dance. When you are willing to play/dance, you are adopting an embracing stance.

Embrace What?

Embrace the chaos. Embrace the uncertainty. Embrace the imbalance.

Chaos, uncertainty and imbalance are all the things we are taught to live in fear of. The energy we use to avoid or fight chaos, is energy we could use to embrace it. Don’t look the other way, look at these things.

Listen to what imbalance is producing. Gaze upon uncertainty as an ally. Experience chaos as an emergence; something new is being born which is yet to be defined. In shifting our view from “these are bad things” to “these things have value”, we end the constant battle. We have created a shift in which we can envision a wide range of new options and create a richer life.

Tools Evolve and Dissolve

Once we embrace fear or uncertainty, the tools to grow what we are seeking are no longer crutches but possibilities, which are liberating and can be changed as the context changes. We are no longer bound to the tools, rather we can see them as stepping-stones on life’s path through discovery and uncertainty. The path we realize by leaning in.

Learn How

In my coaching and therapeutic practice, I work with you to develop the capacity to embrace uncertainty. We’ll work together to identify the creative tensions of your life.

Learn how you can create from the tensions that are produced when you hold both your aspirations and life’s uncertainty. Learn how playing with both parts (rather than having to choose from one or the other) cultivates a more creative and fulfilling life.

Stop seeking. Start embracing.


Post Update:

Oliver Burkeman in his new book: The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking speaks to a similar notion which I will post on after reading his book and/or you can join me in this conversation by getting a copy for yourself  here:

For a quick overview listen to Jian Ghomeshi‘s interview of Burkeman. Love to hear your comments!


  1. Thank you for this posting. I am taking your words to heart. My first step is accepting that there is the possibility of richness in a world that seems stark and silent. I’m stepping into it, now. And, as I embrace it, I can feel a warmth, the feeling that my embrace has been returned. Something is there.

  2. Thanks JP…check out: and just heard that Oliver Burkeman has come out with a book “The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking.” More on it later!

  3. Here is the link to the book:

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